MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

*WOMAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS*

 

 

ELEMENT:

WOMAN

 

SYMBOL:

 

DISCOVERER:

ADAM

 

ATOMIC MASS:

ACCEPTED AS 118 lb., BUT KNOWN TO VARY FROM 97 TO 500+ lb.

 

 

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

  1. Surfaces usually covered with painted film.
  2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
  3. Melts if given special treatment.
  4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
  5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
  6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

 

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

  1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum, and precious stones.
  2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
  3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning.
  4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by alcohol consumption.
  5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

 

COMMON USES:

  1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
  2. Can be a great aid in relaxation.

 

TESTS:

  1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
  2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

 

HAZARDS:

  1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
  2. Possessing more than one can be harmful, even fatal.

 

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